This month has quite literally been hell. And I’m really okay with not blogging through it. I think it would be incredibly difficult for me to do, even though all I want to do is scream at the top of my lungs on the internets and throw internet things and link up to different kind of rage gifs like this one.
But I’m totally not going to. I am a champ, and a princess to boot. In the span of less than 30 days, I have moved myself and my two cats back to my parents house for the next few months, I have gritted my teeth through people asking if I’m doing okay, and giving me pity nods. I have restrained myself from murdering my (now) ex-boyfriend and I have talked to my (now) ex-boyfriend face to face and on the telephone, even though he’s a liar and a cheater. Oops, did I say that? I have cried for a total of 48 straight hours. I have slept on my best friend’s couch for a total of seven days this month. My good friend Gareth died.
I’m taking the perspective of “If I just pretend everything is okay, I’ll start believing it.” Maybe it’s denial. Maybe it’s not, but I’m really determined to just get myself through September, finalize my move and the apartment I shared with my (now) ex-boyfriend and start October happy, free and easy.
But on with the Love List! The things that made me smile this week are:
She is the most amazing person ever! Now that I live with my parents, I now live with my sister who is five years younger than me. We stay up late, talking and giggling. And we get up early to talk and giggle. It’s a vicious cycle. But the best one ever. We even look identical! Guess who is who.
Even though I’ve had a total of 27 meltdowns in as many days, my Bestie is always there. I went on a date the other day for seriously the first time in over five years, and I stopped by work and Bestie had some very encouraging things to say (after criticizing my blouse, of course). She’s the lady who is my rock. And we all know that you’re only as strong as the people who drag you out of your shit.
Laughing at myself
Seriously. Today I walked a full 25 minutes from my apartment to work with my skirt hiked up to the point where it looked like it was tucked in the back of my underwear. In my defense, the skirt is very light, airy and summery and it totally feels like I was wearing nothing. But when I yelped at work after realizing just how high my skirt had come up, I realized that I haven’t had a laugh at my expense in a long time. And damn, did it feel good.